Chiming in on bullying

Since bullying is the hot topic these days, I thought I would chime in on my bully experience.

*Please don't take this post as condoning violence. It just is my experience and is not to be taken as anything else*

BJ Pennebaker used to make my life H-E-double hockey sticks. He lived down the street from me and while I could avoid him at school, the bus stop was the worst. He would tease me about everything and I don't even remember what specifically. I know it was before and after school and it was worse when my big sister wasn't at the bus stop with me.

He would threaten to beat me up every day, bragging about his karate prowess. In the winter he and the other boys — Ricky Waldoch and Kent Andersen — would throw snowballs and if they could catch me they would shove ice balls in my face. It really sucked. And it made me mad. And my mom had enough of it.

One day, she told me to go ahead and punch him in the face if he kept it up.

The relief I felt when she told me that is something I remember clearly to this day. Just knowing I could defend myself and wouldn't get in trouble for it took the pressure off. It gave me control of the situation. He could taunt me all he wanted, but I had the power, because I had permission to give it back to him if I decided too.

I never punched BJ. I probably wouldn't have done much damage, but knowing I wasn't the victim, I was the one holding the cards, that made me feel pretty powerful.