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Can't take 'em anywhere...

July 7, 2011 - Jennifer Brookens
After vacation time, for us it's like The Simpsons episode where they cross off a state on their map of places they can never return. Thanks to parenthood, we've been having similar experiences.

Here are some of the places (courtesy of The Boy) we can never return to until he hits puberty and can man-handle security guards*:

10) The International House of Pancakes in Sioux Falls. Offense: a terrorism-size tantrum involving chocolate chip pancakes.

9) Costco store in Maple Grove. Offense: Getting in without a membership, and then opening a box of cookies before hitting the checkout stand.

8) Bath and Body Works, Mankato. Offense: Taking out a display case that left him smelling of Cherry Blossoms and Cucumber Melon for two weeks.

7) Old Chicago, Casper, WY. Offense: bulldozing over a table filled with business execs while trying to escape his grilled cheese sandwich.

6) half the styling salons in Fairmont. Offenses include: violent resistance to haircuts and destroying pyramid stacked display of salon products.

5) (NEW ENTRY!) Storybook Island, Rapid City, SD. Offense: attempt to hijack train in order to ride in every cart, including the handicapped-reserved caboose.

4) **** Church in Fairmont. Offense: destruction of coat rack and hangers and whatever was caught on surveillance cameras by the "fireside chat" room.

3) Carousel at River Hills Mall, Mankato. Offense: attempting to hijack the "patriotic" horse.

2) (NEW ENTRY!) Ft. Randall Dam information station, S.D. Offense: impromptu strip show when he decided it was time for a diaper change.

And the #1 place we need to avoid with The Boy in tow...

1) anyplace involving "peace and quiet." ('nuff said!)

*meant as a humorous piece only, and is not to be taken literally or for litigation.

 
 

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