Mothering

Mother's Day passed wonderfully for me. 

For the first time, everything worked out— after church we went out for lunch (and the kids behaved so well I wondered who switched them overnight). Then, each child wanted to go on a run with me (and they didn't fight over who got to go first very much). Both runs were great — the kids were happy afterward and I found a new activity I plan to repeat with at least one of them). I went into the office for a few hours (it was my weekend to work) and when I got home, the family was making dinner for me. Dinner was late, and there were no vegetables in sight, but it is the thought that counts, right? A quick visit to my mom's house followed by bedtime for the kids rounded out a great day.

But it reminded me of another mother's day that didn't go so well. My first mother's day, seven years ago, was spent with a 2-week old newborn. Up all night with him, I imagined flowers and chocolates waiting for me in the morning. I was still under the delusion that mother's got something special when there were children to care for. My newly fathered husband was not tolerating the sleepless nights well, and being the martyr I was, bundled up the baby, went to church by myself, followed by a visit to my husband's mother — if for no other reason than to say, "Your son is still in bed on my first mother's day. Yes, I did notice it is 3 o'clock in the afternoon."

Contrasting these to days has given me insight not only on motherhood, but on spouse-hood as well.

The first thing for new mom's to know is mother's day may be for mothers, but every day is kid day. That baby needs to be fed AGAIN even if it is your day.

Second, martyring yourself does not help your marriage. It just makes you resentful. And your spouse too, when you bring up the offending issue.

But the most important thing for me, is that both of these days shows exactly what is wonderful about being a mother. Caring for the children is hard, tiring, and thankless. But when they finally behave at a restaurant and are NICE to each other for (most) of an entire day, it is totally worth it.

Oh, and there is nothing wrong with buying yourself a gift.