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"Tub-Soaked Pretzels" and other toddler delicacies

June 5, 2009 - Jennifer Brookens
It never ceases to amaze me what my toddler son will consider "tasty." How fearful have I been seeing a white froth around his mouth, frantically looking for what could be the culprit and how will I explain this one to Poison Control... only to find Big Sister left her sidewalk chalk out again. Speaking of Big Sister, she at least is a good alarm. Several times a day we hear her yell, "Boy, what do you have in your mouth?!" (Yes, this phrase is another standby at the Brookens household.)

Other than the 589 other worries moms need to face about the "taste-tester" kid, my biggest concern is how long will this last. Is my kid going to be the one eating worms in second grade? Will I hear him referred to by the high school football team as "Brendan 'Bottom-Feeder' Brookens"? Will he be the one taking the dare by eating old mayonnaise or a fossilized sandwich in some kid's locker? Judging by some of his current snacks, I may have reason to worry...

"Tub-Soaked Pretzels" This was when he refused to loosen his grip on a mini-pretzel as he was placed into the tub. Sure enough, once I loosened the grip, the pretzel plopped into the bath water and he was quicker than I at getting it. Some remanents were washed down the drain. Don't think I wanna know about the rest.

"Crushed cereal a la carpet" - One of his personal favorites, throwing or spilling breakfast on the floor and crushing it before Mom even makes it back from the kitchen with a sippy cup or the dustbuster. He usually chooses to garnish his crushed into the carpet meal with whatever beverage is in the sippy cup. This frequent meal is the reason for the recent steam cleaner purchase.

"Secret stash snacks" - UGH! This kid has hiding places I'm constantly stumbling onto, from under his high chair lining, behind the couch, IN the couch, and I'm sure there are many more I haven't even found yet. I still want to know where he found the cinnamon roll remnant from weeks ago that he was trying to chew on the other day.

The good news is that he's stayed away from the poisons (or I've been good at keeping them out of his reach) and we haven't had to go to the hospital for a stomach pumping yet. But Poison Control has been contacted before. In fact, it's on speed dial. I just hope I won't be on a first-name basis with the operator there by the time that Boy hits kindergarten!


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